I haven’t properly sat down and written a blog in over five months now. I feel like I have been the worst blogger in not providing posts for you guys to muse over especially as I’ve not long started this whole blogging palaver. But every time I’ve sat down to bring you guys my latest fashion woes or my feelings towards life after University it all fell flat and felt completely irrelevant. There has been something stopping me every time I crack open my laptop and I’m going to share it with you all now.
I’m not sure how this is going to read or if it will come over as oversharing but I feel like this post was one that I have to write before I can get back onto the ol’ blogging horse and properly start writing again. So here it is.
In August last year my oldest sister passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. She was only 38. It was totally heart-breaking and hit our family like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.
She was a massive character within our family unit, she’d always be the one to arrange family gatherings (which, when there’s 6 brothers and sisters scattered across the country and all with partners and children of there own is like trying to heard cats believe me!) and she’d always be the one to broker peace when disagreements inevitably happened.
Like any big sister she was always there to guide me through all my boy woes (we eventually worked out that avoiding any musicians is generally a good idea…) life choices and the crap all of us women face, but she was always there throughout all the hard times, always managing to put a positive spin on things, no matter how tragic the situation.
Without her I would never had made it to University, let alone get through it, complete my dissertation and pass with flying colours, her wisdom advice and open ears to accept my emotional, sleep deprived ranting always a help that could never be put down in words.
She was the best person to be around during the good times, always a massive beaming smile that everyone could spot in a crowd, violin in hand and daisies in her hat, ready to dance the gin-fuelled evenings away with both of us getting the steps wrong but not caring one jot.
Anyone who knew her loved her and she left an unforgettable impression on everyone she met at every stage in her life.
The past five months have been the hardest I have ever been through, with some days being too much to face. We’ve all had to try to readjust to life without her presence in our own lives but it’s not something that any of us can get used to easily. We take each day as it comes and although it doesn’t get easier it becomes more bearable as time passes.
We all know the saying “Life’s too Short”, and with what has happened over the past few months, that saying has become even more relevant than it ever was before. It can be so easy to let grief overcome you and to not go on living your normal life, but with sadness comes happiness and if my sister has taught me anything it was not to let the bad times drag you down. With this tremendous sadness comes the immense happiness we all now attach to our memories that we all shared with her. We treasure these times more than ever now and although there’s a bittersweet feeling when looking back on the good times, I’m so grateful to have them and to have shared so many amazing moments in my life with my beautiful big sister.
Life can be massively unfair. It can throw things at people that really don’t deserve it and sometimes this can be incredibly hard to comprehend. But for Jo, for her memory and the memories we shared together we must go on and live our lives to the fullest and happiest that we can. Life is definitely too short and the past five months have taught me that.
So here’s to you Jo, wherever you are I hope there is gin, a fiddle and endless daisies…
Thanks for reading,